She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
