How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
