What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
