maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
