I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize
