She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
