whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
