i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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