i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
