Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
