Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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