i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
