Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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