hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
