woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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