i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I understand Curling. That high.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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