I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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