what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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