I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
