Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
