I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
