My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
