Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
