i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
