I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
