I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
