Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
