Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
