If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
