I skipped work to stalk him.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
