I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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