You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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