When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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