Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
