hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
