do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
