Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
