I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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