I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
