just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
