She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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