You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
