she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
