erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
