That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
