you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
