Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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