And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
