my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got inside last night via doggy door
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
