He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
