Me too!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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