There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
